For the sake of “the new millennium” and independent women, let us imagine a world with the roles of male and female reversed!! A woman approaches a man trying to muster up her confidence and craftiness of words, only to get completely ignored by the guy. A woman trying to get “the bang for her buck” chugging beer from the draft, but finding a guy who catches her eye, digs a whole in her tab, only to get the ole “I’m sorry I have a girlfriend” excuse. Even something more simple like a girl losing brownie points because she did not hold the door for the guy when they went out on a date. The point I am driving at is although roles in the workforce are slowly changing; roles in relationships are not. The day my girlfriend gets on one knee and proposes to me, I am not only saying no, but our relationship is over.
On a more serious note a tasteful amount of aggression from females is always attractive for me. The happy medium is a plus, like let me pay for our first date, and thereafter I encourage being graced by the perks of the “new” format of relationships. Things such as going half on the bill are nice, and when a lady says she is going to pay for the bill IS SEXY!!
In our new age relationships it is harder for guys and girls to find their appropriate roles. Females being the breadwinners of the households were unheard of as little as fifty years ago, but it is not that unusual now. This alone brings up security issues with the male being that our role was supposed to be completely dominant until now. While males must forfeit some of their power, they also must have a good amount of it, because to completely forfeit you dominance is not respected by females. Although some ladies may not admit it, they like to be with a “man’s man”, not walk around with his backbone letting him borrow it only to walk.
I got this week’s topic, from a book group that is on campus titled “Can we talk here?” The book group will use “He’s Just Not That Into You?” by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, to probe relationship discussions. It is a very interesting book not only to me, but it received best seller honors, was featured on Oprah, and there is even a movie about it. Behrendt and Tuccillo are very creative with thinking of brief letters sent to them from females in need of relationship advice and also responding back with a succinct reason why the guy they are wracking their brains about is “just not that into her”.
On this subject matter, Behrendt and Tuccillo advise females that if a guy is not willing to pursue her than she should recognize her worth and move on. As defended before, I think it is more complicated than that, because a female recognizing what she wants and letting it be known can many times be a turn on. Behrendt, Tuccillo, and I agree that relationships are very much still a game when the guy is a chaser and likes this role and the female is flattered and empowered by being chased.
If you are interested in discussing more about relationships and being a part of the “Can We Talk Here?” book group email jwargo@bryant.edu. (For now the group prefers females in the future they are looking to incorporate males).
This is a very interesting. I've been thinking about this same thing myself.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I don't think the "game" will ever change. Women are too egotistical to not enjoy being "chased" and I think men like feeling in charge of a situation.
Making the first move says you're confident and you're a risk taker. It turns women on to be approached by a guy because they know they are wanted and or desired by their male counterpart.
When it comes to initiating a relationship, men might be in charge but driving a relationship is purely in the hands of the woman. We get what we want by coinvincing men, our wants are theirs as well. ;)
My friend Alexis says that the roles of women and men in a relationship should not change because if women appear to be on the same level as men in their relationship then the real power which lies with the female to begin with will be lost. (She doesn't trust guys too much)
My friend Ashley says that gender roles in a relationship should not be dwelled on but instead, personalities should be the driving force. She beleives that there are different types of women and men and what they want is also different in a relationship.
Eternally Yours,
Mo'e